18 Good Thoughts For People Laid Off
Posted: Saturday, July 07, 2007
by Jeff Garton
Career Contentment, Inc.
Layoffs are rarely pleasant. It’s a send off that opens the d
oor to the great unknown, and it can bring an end to relationships, routines, a way of life and income streams. Not everyone initially responds positively, and you can’t really expect they would. But a positive response sooner than later, greatly influences just how soon you get back on track. It’s a matter of looking for the agreeable middle ground, and knowing how to leverage your resulting career contentment.
My career is in Human Resources and my introduction to layoffs occurred in the mid 1980’s when I worked for Miller Brewing. Never in the history of this illustrious company had we conducted salaried layoffs, and it was perceived as letting go of your closest friends and family members. It was horrible, and for hundreds of people it forever changed the meaning of, It’s Miller Time.
The first layoffs were accomplished with a high level of secrecy, respect and dignity. It started in the morning, and a warm and inviting lobby that offers a bar and beer taps was suddenly quiet as a funeral parlor. People passed each other in the halls without establishing eye contact because you might learn something you didn’t want to know. If someone said, Hello, how are you? The awkward response might be, Why are you asking, what did you hear?
One at a time, the affected employees were advised and allowed to collect their things and say goodbye to friends. Next they were escorted to the HR department where we advised them of their benefits, remaining pay and next steps. Then we walked them to the door. When it was over, we then laid off members of the HR team who had just helped to let go of the others.
As the layoff was occurring, I remember sitting at my desk and waiting for the next person on the list to show up. Usually you knew the person and could anticipate how they might react, but it wasn’t always as you anticipated. What allowed you to establish a connection was the fact you might get the axe yourself by the end of the day. You never knew, so you felt like you were in this together.
Eventually you developed a preference for which reaction you wanted a person to have, sort of like switching channels on TV. What I liked were the people who saw this as an opportunity to finally escape a declining business situation, transform their life and career, do something entirely different, move to a warmer climate, start a business, write a book, or take a much needed vacation from working. It was amazing the possibilities some of these optimistic people had already dreamed up with such short notice. It was like they were anticipating the layoff and already had plans. Many of them commented they felt sorry for the people who were left behind. Rather than waiting around any longer for something bad to happen, they were regaining control of their life and career, and it felt good. After meeting with several of these opportunistic thinkers, I was already dreaming what I might do, and was almost hoping to get laid off myself.
What kept my feet on the ground and head out of the clouds were the people whose lives seemed completely dependent on just the company. They couldn’t imagine life after Miller and were stuck in the mindset of “why me, why now, why not someone else, what am I going to do, what do I tell the family, I don’t have a resume, I’ll never find another job like this, I just bought a new car, how do I pay the mortgage, I’ve got two kids in college, or I don’t think I can make it through the day." You couldn’t help but feel sorry for these people, and sometimes worried. We were instructed to watch for difficult cases and to connect them with resources that were on standby. What you wanted to do was pair them up with the upbeat person who just left and felt like they couldn’t get out of there fast enough. But that would happen later.
The next day we had arranged for an outplacement provider to speak with the entire group and to discuss new options. Most people were still in shock, but on the third and fourth day, people were commiserating with each other, talking about how their layoff was handled (comparing scars), and about the people they were sad to leave behind and what might happen to them. You could almost sense the transformation that was happening, and it was good. It was obvious that the opportunistic thinkers had hit the ground running, and you could easily assume they would land much faster. This wasn’t always the case.
What distinguished the people who landed sooner or with something better was not their positive attitude before the layoff. Although that helped to initially endure a bad situation, it was a person’s developing positive attitude and sense of purpose after the layoff and whether they could sustain it. People had to get through the initial shock, adjust and regain their composure, and then deal with their situation. The people who had a more difficult time landed jobs as well, but it took them longer because their positive attitude and purpose were slower to develop.
Bottom line, it was how a person felt that determined how soon they acted and what they did. They acted on their emotions caused by what they were thinking. Favorable thinking resulted in feeling better and delivering better results faster while unfavorable thinking resulted in procrastination or mixed results.
It’s twenty years later, and after working now with tons of people in transition, I cannot think of one person who was previously unemployed or lost their job that did not find another. It was like there was a job reserved for each of them, and they didn’t have to worry. If only they could have taken a pill and woke up later to find they were already settled into a new job. This was impossible because whatever happened was the direct result, not of their circumstances, but how they thought, felt and acted regardless of their circumstances. Their circumstances were always secondary to their thinking and fulfillment of their purpose.
I refer to the people who get this as the advantaged. They function with a mindset that is made content by control of their emotions to get what they desire. It’s an optional state of mind that enhances your ability to think clearly, feel better, make choices, deliver results, and to endure regardless of your circumstances, even layoffs.
But realize this has nothing to do with the power of positive thinking that assumes you’ll get what you want by thinking positively. Get real. Wishful thinking has nothing to do with it, particularly if you’re purpose is to put food on the table. It’s about the proven fact that people act on their emotions caused by what they think. You still have to get up, get moving, and get it done, and what causes you to do this most effectively and with greater resolve is how confident and committed you feel. This begins with how and what you were thinking. Was it about the hurdles, or the goal line?
The advantaged were always the ones who despite their layoff, reasoned to recognize the agreeable middle ground. They chose to see the good in the bad, the rainbow, silver lining and light at the end of the tunnel. Rather than waste time needing, wanting or worrying, they imagined already having their purposes fulfilled, and they leveraged their resulting contented emotions to think clearly and to act with greater resolve to achieve the results they desired.
Because everyone’s purpose was different, they each had different thoughts, but generally speaking, they were thoughts that did not ask why me, but inspired feelings of joy, optimism, excitement, enthusiasm and gratitude, and they went something like this:
Things are looking up and already I’m feeling better and better.
This enables me to finally do what I’ve always wanted to do.
Thank goodness this is over and I am getting on with my life.
How exciting to think what is going to happen next.
Is it possible to skip the group meeting because I have things to do?
Now I can do what I’ve always wanted to do.
I can see already how this is turning into something really great.
This is happening just in time. I can’t believe this.
I’m free, thank God I am free at last.
There’s a purpose and reason for everything, and I’m excited to learn mine.
I am certain about what I want next and can already see it happening.
I am fully engaged to do what I must to get it.
Want to bet I land a better job than what I had?
I am capable of doing what’s required to get whatever job I want.
I feel confident the job I want is right now looking for me.
My thoughts are focused positively on my purpose only.
I can sense that other people I don’t even know are ready and willing to help me.
It’s amazing how this seems to be fitting nicely into my plans.
So you see it’s not the layoff that opens the door to creating a brighter future. It’s the meaning you assign to the layoff or anything else that happens, and also your predisposition to reason and recognize the agreeable middle ground, and it enables your contentment. Not everyone chose to see it this way, but later wished they had.
The advantaged realize that satisfaction is illusive, unreliable and sometimes beyond their ability to control or afford. They live contentedly in a beautiful but imperfect world with beautiful but imperfect people, and they’re not expecting everything to go their way. But this doesn’t mean they can’t control how they think and feel in order to have and enjoy the life and career they desire. They reason to recognize the agreeable middle ground, and doing so gives them more strength and advantages than most other people could ever imagine.
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© 2007 by Jeff Garton All Rights Reserved
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)No sorry this is not helping meDon't give up, and I wish you well. It's not what we think we are, but what we think - we are.
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